Parenting Myths We Believe: #1 “It Gets Easier”

Parenting Myths We Believe: #1 “It Gets Easier”


 

By Amelia Furman
We were designed to have faith. To trust. To believe. It’s in our wiring as creatures of the Creator, but due to the fall, we are prone to deception from others and ultimately, ourselves. We are easily duped into having faith, trust, and belief in the wrong things and/or persons.

One area of “duping” is parenting myths. This series of posts will hopefully bring some truth to the myths we often believe as parents. No matter what age your
children are, these myths have a tendency to take hold and play with our state of mind and ultimately, our trust in God. It’s time they were  debunked and we were “un-duped.” Yes, I made up that word. You’re  welcome.

“It will get easier” is a long-standing myth that needs some attention. As a sleep-deprived, flustered mother of my first, I was fed this myth constantly. Out of very good intentions, mind you. You know the look of a mother who is begging for some relief...some word of hope that things will get better. When you are on your third week of zero sleep, you need something to help you through, but I don’t think this is the statement to which we should be clinging. I know I clutched it close to my chest in my times of desperation and times of being overwhelmed. I would whisper it to myself. “It will get easier. It will get easier. It has to. This can’t last forever. It will get easier.” I’ve also preached this myth to others. 

Parts of this myth is true. Certain aspects of parenting do get easier. Hallelujah! But I think it’s when we cling to this myth as our ultimate hope that we start getting deceived into thinking that once we are through this particular stage, be it infancy, toddlerhood or teenage-dom, it will get easier all around, and we won’t have to struggle so much. We will finally be able to relax.

Disengage. Put our feet up. 
Then, when we are faced with the next challenging round, we feel let down. Betrayed. So tired and so defeated. It was supposed to be easier! Hmmm.

Okay, so reality tells us that it doesn’t necessarily “get easier.” What is the truth? “It gets different.” The challenges you face now as a parent will ease up.  
Your child will start sleeping.  
Your youngsters will start being more independent.  
The screaming will cease. 
You will get through that really hard conversation.  
They will learn how to drive.  
They will discover the ins and outs of healthy relationships. 

However, this doesn’t mean that after one challenge, there won’t be more coming. They ramp up, actually. I’ve noticed this. I have 5- and 8-year-old boys, and the challenges I’ve been facing haven’t gotten easier; they’ve become more complicated. When they were young, my body was exhausted. Now, my brain is tired. My guess is that when they are teenagers, my heart will become weary. Interesting how the struggles begin on the exterior and move inward. Perhaps, there is some sanctification occurring.

I know this may seem like a dismal post, but I think that when we accept this reality, we are poised to deal with it successfully rather than allow the deception to sink us. We live in a world that is filled with challenge and struggle, yet we don’t have to despair. Why? Because we don’t have to face these challenges and struggles alone. We have a God who has equipped us, who promises us wisdom when we ask, and who says he will walk with us in our valleys.

“I have told you these things, so that IN ME you may have peace. In this world, YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). 

This is for us, parents. This is to remind us that, yes, trouble and struggle will come, and it won’t get easier until Jesus returns, but in all of that, we have him, and in him we have peace. Even as parents. This is a truth to stand on. This is the person we need to believe. Take heart, parents. It might not get easier, but it will get different. And through each stage, Jesus has you--body, mind, and soul.

 

 




Amelia Furman is a mixed media artist located in Loveland, CO.  You can view more of her work at www.ameliafurman.com or follow her at @ameliafurmanmixedmedia on Facebook and/or Instagram. If you feel God leading you to use your artistic gifts at Faith or want to find community with other creatives at Faith, please contact Amelia at amelia.furman@gmail.com.



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